By: Mistura ShittuNiyas,
The Proprietress of Niyas International School, Lagos, Nigeria. +2348033566124
WHICH IS EASIER TO MANAGE?
YOUR SPOUSE (HUSBAND OR WIFE) OR YOUR BUSINESS?
This question was posed by Sheikh Dr. Abdul Wasiu Shittu, the Chief Physiotherapist at State Hospital Ijebu Ode, Ogun State, Nigeria to his followers ( mereedun) during a program recently.
Here are their submissions. You can also add yours to the comment section after having read through.
THOSE IN FAVOUR OF BUSINESS BEING EASIER TO MANAGE HAD THESE TO SAY:
1. It’s emotionless. All you need to do is to follow the rules and get your results. And you when need to readjust, you don’t need anybody’s permission. You are totally in control.
2. You don’t have to do everything yourself at all times. You might even be a remote business man or just an investor doing nothing physically, only waiting for dividends.
3. Business can be changed anytime, anyway with no one raising eyebrows.
4. It could be run at your convenience.
5. Business may ignore relatives and maintain rigid rules
6. Nobody, not even Allah will question you for the failure of your business.
7. Opportunities abound in the business world.
BUT OUR SPOUSES EITHER MALE OR FEMALE ARE NOT SO EASY TO MANAGE FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:
1. They are human beings and have emotions and are not predictable.
2. What you think will be okay with you might be what he or she abhors and this might lead to conflict.
3. You have to make compromises every now and then for peace to reign in the family .
4. You can’t just jump in and out of your marriage anytime anyhow. You have to try all possible ways to make it work because the well being of the whole family is at stake.
5. Almighty Allah has a stake in upholding family ties.The Prophet Muhammad, (P.B.O.N) said, “when a man gets married, he has fulfilled half of his faith. ” And Allah doesn’t encourage divorce except when all serious attempts at reconciliation failed. Allah went on to stylishly introduce the hidah or waiting period again with the intention that proximity for three months can spur up the lost spark of attraction between the couple.
6. Children can become miscreants as a result of a broken home.
7. Once married, your freedom is curtailed. Wives must ask for permission before taking important steps , while husbands are enjoined to carry their wives along on their daily life activities and can only be discreet when necessary for the good of all concerned.
8. They said spouses can not be represented by workers or just anybody. And that physical participation aside emotional attachment is also a priority.
9. Many factors can make or mar marriages. Business could also be one of them.
ANECDOTES AND PANACEA FOR “SWEET”, “THRILLING”, AND “EVERGREEN” MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP AS RECOMMENDED BY SHEIKH DR ABDUL WASIU SHITTU
1. Wives should give surprise dinner date invitations to their husbands with the bills to be footed by them. The husband would at first want to turn down the invitation but if he is reassured it’s a free dinner offer by his loving wife to express appreciation of his sacrifices and spending for the family, he will be full of smiles and happiness and night even remember to give her the long forgotten hugs of their courtship days.
2. Husbands should learn to overlook some mistakes of their wives by trying to understand the flimsy nature of women.
While the wives should understand the domineering and rigid nature of men and find ways to adapt to it when necessary and lovingly evade it when meaningless. Especially if it relates to the worship and obedience to Allah ‘s injunctions.
3. Don’t turn your husband into your ATM machine. Don’t expect him to take care of all the bills while you selfishly spend yours recklessly.
4. The husband should never place his responsibilities on the shoulders of the wife if he still wants to be the controller of his domain and also receives blessings and supports from Allah. If he does, all the baraka and blessings go to the provider.
All rules have their exceptions, let us fear Allah, follow his injunctions and the Sunnah for a happy home front and community.
Excerpt from :
THE COMPANY OF THE FAITHFULS IN TOURIQATU TIJANIYAH AND IBRAHIMIYAH SAWIAH, LAGOS NIGERIA.
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